I'm trying hard to remember that I left J. for a reason.
It's hard. He would have given me a lot of relationship stability and even a little bit of financial stability. We got along very well when he wasn't driving me insane. We shared very similar senses of humor (dark, a little bit mean, and full of mischief). He was fun, had pretty eyes and big shoulders, and loved music. He was packing some heat (interpret that however you want to). He brought Jimi Hendrix and Guns N' Roses back into my life. He promised to teach me how to shoot, ride a motorcycle and play the guitar.
But P. adamantly insisted: "No regrets!"
She was right, of course. I try to listen to P. in the first place, but this is especially important advice. No regrets.
Well, at least I don't need him around to teach me guitar, because I realized that fourteen (14!!) years of formal music training is just enough to know how to play the intro to "Seven Nation Army" by The White Stripes on my dusty acoustic. YES. Okay, I know that sounds really lame to more experienced guitar players but I finally got off my reluctant ass and made my fingers sore practicing notes. I just wanted to stop thinking about J. and it worked! It hurt so much and I was concentrating so hard that I forgot that I sort of miss him.
At first I was having a bit of trouble with the frets because my hands are small and I'm not used to the numbering, but L. strongly suggested I use what he calls the "retarded fret number system for newbs," in which I used Post-It notes to number my frets until I got used to them. As for the small hands problem, he said that it would get easier to stretch with practice, or that I should get a smaller guitar. He also said that if I opted for the latter he'd personally kick my ass. It did get a little easier, but I definitely need more practice. I'm still ridiculously proud of my little "Seven Nation Army" success. I also managed to get through a little bit of "All The Small Things." Those were the two most recommended "for beginners" tabs.
Attempting to play "Dani California" resulted in failure, though. So did attempting to play "Smoke On The Water." I'm such a newb.