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PREMIER PROPRIETOR OF PROJECTILE PENIS PROTECTION! - Drive-by flirting.
Also known as Steph's All New Year.
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Drive-by flirting.
Today, I was a victim of drive-by flirting.

My experiences with drive-by flirting have included:

1. The "Mr. Flake" (also known as "Greek Restaurant Boy") incident, the only time I was the perpetrator of drive-by flirting.

Those that know this story know it very well. It spreads quickly, like a venereal disease among skanky college co-eds. Ms. Elizabeth had taken me out to a Greek restaurant for my birthday, and the waiter had some kind of miracle muscle-butt that I could not stop ogling. At Ms. Elizabeth's incessant mockery and prodding, I decided to leave him my number on a napkin (OH HI SO TACKY), but did not have the presence of mind to realize that what she had handed me was a Sharpie; therefore, when the ink leaked through the napkin I was unprepared and panicked, leaving a large tip and escaping from the restaurant. Upon reaching my vehicle, I decided to give it another go. The Sharpie marker was used on more appropriate material (printer paper); I pulled up in front of the restaurant, and while Elizabeth waited in the passenger seat left my car idling as I ran in, handed my number to his stunned boss saying, "Please give this to the guy with the glasses," and ran out.

A week later he called, and the rest is history. (He was sweet but very boring and not very bright. He always called me late at night whenever I told him I had to get up very early, and once asked, "Where are you?" [my response: Davis, CA] "Davis? Is that a restaurant?")

2. Numerous traffic light hand gestures indicating, "Roll down your window!" or "Phone number?"

3. The man who crashed his car into a freeway on-ramp guardrail and leaned out his window to say, "You look SO buuuuuuuutiful bebehhhhhhh."

4. And today.

As I drove from L.A. to Santa Barbara, a man in an enormous black truck pulled up on my right hand side. He leaned out the window and winked, his stunning blue eyes noticeable even with the distance between us. I responded with a blank stare, and continued to drive. After a while I looked at the truck again; he had been driving perfectly in sync with my little Corolla. I proceeded to cut him off because he was creeping me out. AND HE PULLED UP NEXT TO ME AGAIN.

Note: there were very few other cars on the highway with us, and none were very near. So yes it was dangerous but whatever let me finish.

Mr. Blue Eyes Giant Truck continued to leer and I continued to cut him off. It was really funny after a while. The best part is that he was eventually separated from me by a BIGGER TRUCK. As the Pancake said, "He got cock blocked by a bigger car! HAHAHA."

Thank you, Mr. Blue Eyes Giant Truck, for making the end of my week so great. It's been a rough few weeks and I needed that laugh.


The end.

Tags:
Current Mood: amused amused
Current Music: Plies feat. Neyo - Bust It Baby Pt. 2

Comments
gmthomas From: gmthomas Date: August 8th, 2008 07:01 am (UTC) (Link)
People are creepy :/

Luckily I'm not good-looking enough to be a victim of drive-by flirting, or regular flirting for that matter. :|

And I'm far too shy to do any myself. :\
kauai From: kauai Date: August 8th, 2008 01:53 pm (UTC) (Link)
HOW have I never heard of this Mr. Flake?!? OMFG.
From: heymon32 Date: August 8th, 2008 06:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
man, someone crashed his car and the only thing he could think of was hitting on a girl. was he staring at you while driving and not paying attention to the road? weird.
hawtnerdsecks From: hawtnerdsecks Date: August 9th, 2008 06:46 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh he was trying to pull over to talk to me. At a freeway on ramp. It was actually really funny. He had a thick accent which made it even better.

The car was pretty janky in the first place.
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